#4: No. I can't trust you. But, I love you?
“‘I’ve always loved you. Even as a child - in a time I don’t remember - I already loved you.’ She dipped her head” (Owens, 358).
“I never thought I could love something so much. Or maybe what I was feeling wasn’t for the gift, but for him” (Hoover, 248).
Love - what a beautiful emotion. Once you fall in love, it’s as if the air around you has cleared. Knowing you have someone to love you regardless of all your faults is comforting.
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“My father was a terrible man,” Lily Blossom Bloom says as she begins spilling all her ‘naked truths’ to Kya Clark. “He didn’t deserve a word of thanks from me in his eulogy.”
“Your Pa reminds me of mine.” Kya responds.
Kya Clark (Where The Crawdads Sing) and Lily Bloom (It Ends With Us) share one thing in common: drunk, abusive fathers and a terrible past.
Growing up, both girls felt neglected - “Daddy issues”, as Gen-Z likes to call it. For Lily Bloom, finding her father choking her mother was no big deal. By the time she was 15, Kya had gotten used to a new family member leaving the house, trying to escape her drunk father’s abusive actions. Unfortunately, this is not uncommon, as a report of child abuse is made every 10 seconds in the US.
(https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse-statistics/)
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“Oh, then I’ve gotta tell you about Tate!”
Later on in life, these girls are seen relying on love to fill a void, yet tend to destroy every chance they get by garnering severe trust issues.
Lily, having grown up detesting the way her mother would defend the abusive actions of her father, lives in a constant state of fear in her relationship with surgeon Ryle Kincaid. “There’s a three-second pause where I think this could go one of two ways. He’s going to leave me. Or he’s going to hurt me” (Hoover, 288). It is true Lily and Ryle make several mistakes throughout their rushed marriage. Yet it is a combination of Lily’s trust issues and Ryle’s impulsive nature that makes their marriage volatile; it is not before long when Lily accepts she has turned into her mother: the victim of an abusive partner. “I did this to myself. I allowed this to happen to me. I am my mother” (Hoover, 342).
Kya spends most of her teenage years in love with a man, Tate. He shows her the “world” in the confines of her marsh. He teaches her to read, be strong, and how to love. It is not long until he needs to leave; Tate’s passion for biology lands him a spot in a prestigious laboratory, forcing him to leave Kya behind. Obviously, he is heartbroken, but he does have a life outside of Barkley Cove. Kya breaks down for weeks on end, vowing to never let him back into her life if he does come back - which he does. Unlike Lily and Ryle’s abusive love, Tate and Kya’s love was pure. Tate did make the mistake of leaving Kya without much warning, but he was never unfaithful to her. He makes it infinitely clear once he comes back that Kya has been the only love of his life. “‘You left me like all the others,’ she said. ‘I will never leave you again’” (Owens, 683). So, if it weren’t for the pain Kya has endured with all her family members running away from home, perhaps “Tatya” would’ve been a lasting bond from the moment he got back.
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“Wow, so Tate really did hurt you!”
“Yeah, he did. But, it all worked out. He proved himself. Now, we are married. Like the geese, ya know?”
“Like the geese?”
“That’s irrelevant.”
It is seen later on, though, that both girls move on from these predicaments. Lily and Ryle do end up getting divorced after realizing their relationship isn’t healthy for their child. Lily then goes back to her first boyfriend, Atlas. Perhaps having known him for longer, Lily feels safer around Atlas - their personalities molding together perfectly. For Lily, the childhood sweetheart dynamic works in her favor. It isn’t uncommon for people to end up with their childhood sweethearts, even today.
(https://hernorm.com/childhood-sweetheart/)
Tate and Kya have a happy ending, getting “married” and staying together for the rest of their lives. “As they walked along the tide line in late afternoon, he took her hand and looked at her. ‘Will you marry me, Kya?’
‘We are married. Like the geese,’ she said.
‘Okay. I can live with that.’” (Owens, 686).
*******
“Atlas? N-now who is Atlas? Lily, you get back here!”
Maybe, a past full of abuse for these ladies causes mental turmoil in the future. But, maybe, it leads to a better ending with someone trustworthy.
Thank you for listening to my TedTalk x
ALSO, my book club and I made this really cool playlist representing Where The Crawdads Sing so do check it out :)
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